JUDY GARLAND
***The birth of the rock band known as Judy Garland
began when champion 400lb plus category drummer Chris
heavy C Branston, buoyed by the intense societal
pressure on attractiveness convened a meeting with a
local weight loss guru whose name hed come across in
his yellow pages. This meeting, with guru and guitar
player Jordan thins in Briggs would change their
lives forever. Together the two would not only
conquer Chris battle with obesity, but also
revolutionize the world of dieting; taking on old
clichés and replacing them with brand new ones. This
breakthrough would provide Nobel worthy benefit for
generations to come through the new weight control
method known simply as the rock n roll diet, whose
central tenet is the replacement of two daily meals
with sustained stretches of alcohol and cigarette
consumption. The unlikely pair found that playing
their musical instruments made the beer and cigarettes
go down much smoother, even if the sound was crude and
incoherent. Judy Garland was born. Sadly, the band
much like Chris weight problem would eventually flare
up. Chris, eating fast food four times per day and
drinking nothing but 2L 7Ups had been driven to
feelings of hatred and disdain for his former mentor
and band mate. Jordan, in an attempt to catch his
friend from falling over the edge, had convinced a
local McDonalds employee who had been physically
assaulted for Chris to activate a restraining order,
greatly limiting the ballooning drummers access to
his holy sanctuary. It was war. But dark clouds would
part as an upstart young musician aptly named
Christian timely delivery Millett, came across a
copy of their first EP Fat Boys Dont Cry and
convinced the guys to reunite with him completing the
band on the bass. With Christian, already an avid
follower of the rock n roll diet on board the stage
has been set for Judy Garland to take on the world,
one drink at a time.
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